Harry Potter and the Very Potter Musical
by MisfitMagic7
Summary: -gasp!- Oh no. Fred and George found an Email on Hermione's laptop of AVPM videos. The email instructed them that The Dursleys, Ginny, Molly and Arthur, Draco Malfoy,Dumbledore and Severus Snape MUST be there to watch. PSH. What could possible be wrong?
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter and the Very Potter Musical Chapter One.

Set end of 4th year.

Fred&George find AVPM and everyone watches it.

Enjoy! Please give instructive criticism or just lovely reviews. I don't mind ;p

It was Christmas time at the Weasleys. As usual they invited Harry and Hermione around for the holiday. Despite the fact that a war was coming, the Wesley's wanted to keep the Christmas spirit going so Hermione had her laptop and was playing Muggle Christmas songs.

"What does that do?" Arthur Weasley asked fascinated pointing at the 'safari' button.

"That's the internet." Hermione told him.

"What's the internet?" he asked wanting to know more of muggle technology.

"Erm.. Basically an online encyclopedia."

"What's an encyclopedia?" Hermione could have smacked herself. Of course. He is a wizard, he doesn't know what an encyclopedia is.

"It's like all the books in one..big book." she tried to explain to him. "Look, I'll show you." She clicked on the web page and typed in youtube. Arthur watched fascinated.

"Wow." He said in awe as a video entitled 'All I Want For Christmas' by Maria Carey played.

"Hey! Me and George have an idea." Hermione narrowed her eyes at Fred. This couldn't be good.

"Can we borrow your laptop?" they asked in unison. Hermione sighed and gave it to them.

"Whoa! Harry, you're famous." Fred said everyone turned to look at him.

"Yes. I know that Fred." he replied and went over to see what Fred and George were doing.

"No, like really famous" Fred and George said.

"What do you mean?" he asked sitting down next to George.

"There's a book series-"

"A BOOK SERIES?" Came from Ron, Hermione and Harry.

Fred and George nodded. "It's called Harry Potter."

Hermione snorted. "Very creative." she said sarcastically and everyone gasped.

"Did Hermione make a joke?" Fred and George joked together.

"Yes. I can make jokes you know." she told them and her and Ron sat behind Fred, George and Harry.

"Wow, they're right Harry."

"How did anyone know about us?" Harry asked flabbergasted.

Fred and George shrugged. "Magic." they said in unison.

"The author is JK Rowling. Apparently she came up the idea to make a fantasy novel about witch's and wizards on a train after seeing someone in a long cloak. The idea is based around death because her mum died when she started writing it." Everyone stared at her in amazement.

"How is it that you know everything?" Ron asked.

"It's on the laptop screen, Ronald." Hermione said and Harry smirked feeling deja vu.

"Oh! What's this?" Fred asked as a page popped up out of no where.

"_Dear Fred and George-_" Fred started.

"How is it that this... StarKid person knows our name?" everyone shrugged and told them to keep reading.

"_You may be wandering how there is a book series after Harry Potter._ Everyone nodded. _This email is from the future where Harry and his friends (yes, including you two.) are world wide famous._

"Woah." They all said in awe.

"_There are seven books and eight films – the seventh book was split into two because there was to much important information to miss out. A group of fans in a small production called _**'starkid'** _put together a musical parody-"_

"Wicked." Fred, George and Ron said in unison.

"_About your time at Hogwarts. Before you click on the link below, we advise you to bring along Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Dumbledore, The Dursleys and the rest of the Weasleys._

_Sincerely,_

_StarKid cast."_

Everyone was silent after reading this.

"Do I have to bring the Dursleys?" Harry whined. They all nodded.

"Apparently so." they said.

"AND Snape and Draco?" they nodded again.

Half an hour later the managed to gather the rest of the Weasleys, The Dursley's, Dumbledore, Snape andDraco.

"Potter. What do you want? Sneered Snape over the chatter.

"SILENCE!" Hermione yelled and everyone went silent.

"Good work Hermione." Ron said.

"Thanks Ron." she turned to the people gathered in the living room. "You may be wandering why you are all here and who everyone is." they all nodded. "Well, why don't we start with introductions. I'm Hermione Granger, Harry's bestfriend." The Dursley's eyebrows raised. _Harry has friends? _Dudley mused silently.

"Ron Weasley, Harry's other bestfriend."

"Fred Weasley." George said.

"George Weasley." Fred said right after and Dumbledore's eyes twinkled knowing that it was the other way round.

"Don't be silly, That's George, That's Fred." Molly Weasley said pointing at each of the boys who grinned.

"And I'm Molly Weasley, this is my husband Arthur." Arthur waved and grinned.

"Ginny Weasley." the female red head said.

"Draco Malfoy."

"Severus Snape."

"Dumbledore."

"Dudley Dursley." _Oh, so that's Dudley._ All of the Weasley's thought.

"Petunia Dursley."

"Vernon Dursley."

Everyone turned to Harry after a few seconds.

"Oh! I'm Harry Potter. But you guys already knew that." Hermione rolled her eyes at her bestfriend.

"Fred, George. Do you want to explain?"

The twins nodded. "It would be our pleasure, Hermione." they said in unsion.

_That was freaky._ Dudley thought.

"So we were on Hermiones lappop-"

"Laptop!" Hermione corrected George amused

"We were on Hermione's laptop and we got an email from the future." Everyone snorted.

"Really? You bought us hear for that?" Molly told them off.

"Aw do we have to explain? No one takes us seriously." George whined to Hermione and he got murmurs of agreement.

"Fine, I'll explain." said Hermione. "Well. We got an email from the future, from this production company named Starkid. Harry Potter is a famous novel in the muggle world and someone made a musical parody of it." she said simply.

The Dursleys laughed and everyone turned to them.

"Why would anyone write a novel on Harry?" Vernon asked.

"I'll have you known that Harry has saved many life's and has fought V-Voldemort." she said and everyone gasped.

"Hermione." Ron hissed.

"What? It's just a name." Everyone gasped again. The Dursley's looked confused.

Fred and George moaned. "Can we just watch the bloody clips?" Hermione nodded and grabbed her laptop.

"The screen's tiny." Harry said pointing out the obvious.

Dumbledore whipped out his wand, pointed it at the laptop and the screen wen't onto a spare wall. The Dursley's gasped.

"Woah." Dudley said in amazement. Hermione pressed play on the video that was sent to her.

"A Very Potter Musical? Very creative." Ron said and everyone shh'd him.

"Sorry." He said and wen't silent as he saw a boy dressed up as Harry sitting on a stool.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry Potter and the Very Potter Musical

Chapter Two.

Everyone laughed at the boy acting as Harry.

"_Underneath these stairs, I hear the sneers and feel glares of my cousin, my uncle and my aunt.."_ Everyone turned to look at Harry.

"What? It's not me." He said and looked back at the screen.

"_Can't believe how cruel they are and it stings my lightening scar to know that they'll never give me what I want.."_

The Dursley's snorted. "Just be lucky we give you a house to sleep in, boy." Vernon said.

"_I know I don't deserve these, stupid rules made by the Dursley's, here on privite drive. Can't take all these Muggles, but despite all my struggles, I'm still alive!_" Everyone laughed.

"Way to be optimistic." Hermione said.

"_I'm sick of summer and this waiting around. Man, it's September and I'm skipping this town, hey it's no mystery there's nothing here for me now! I gotta get back to Hogwarts!_"

Everyone including Draco burst out laughing. Snape's mouth turned up into a smile and the Dursley's kept a straight face even though the found the situation funny.

"_I gotta get back to school! Gotta get myself to Hogwarts, where everybody knows I'm cool!"_ The Dursley's and Draco snorted.

"Keep on dreaming, Potter." He said grinning as 'Harry' adjusted his tie.

"It's not me." Harry said to Draco laughing.

'Harry' on screen started counting his fingers. "_Back to wizards and witches and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It's all that I love and it's all that I need; HOGWARTS! HOGWARTS!" _

"Glad to know you love Hogwarts so much." Dumbledore said and they all laughed as 'Harry' shut his suitcase and sat on it

"_I'll see my friends, gonna laugh 'till we cry, take my firebolt, gonna take to the sky! NO WAY this year anyone's gonna die." _

Everyone laughed. "But Harry! Everyone dies each year." Ron said gasping for air.

Vernon snorted. "Yeah right." he said.

"Do I need to name?" Harry asked him and Vernon nodded.

Harry held up his fingers and counted. "First Year, Professor Qurrial and Voldemort, Second Year Tom Riddle. Third year... Well no one died. Forth year was Cedric Diggory." Everyone went silent.

"Let's continue with the film!" Hermione said breaking the silence and pressed 'play.'

"_And it's gonna be totally awesome!'_

'Harry' stood up and waved his wand. "_I'll cast some spells, with a flick of my wand. Sorta bent the fake wand. Defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on! And do it all with my best friend Ron cos together we're totally awesome!"_

Everyone laughed. "Mate, if you say awesome one more time I'll hex you." Ron said to Harry laughing.

Harry looked innocent. "It's not me."

"_Yeah and it's gonna be totally awesome!_" Everyone, including Draco and Snape burst out laughing. Even the Dursley's had grins on there faces.

"Ohmygod!" Ginny said laughing and Ron's ears went red.

"THAT IS NOT ME." He fumed.

"Let's just watch it." Hermione said in fits of laughter.

"_Did somebody say Ron Weasley? What's up buddy?"_

"I NEVER HUG." Ron yelled as 'Harry' and 'Ron' hugged each other.

"_Sorry it took me so long to get here, I had to go get some... Floo powder. But, uh, we better be going , c'mon get your trunk. Let's go!"_

"_Where we goin?"_

"_To Diagon Alley, of course!"_

"Where?" The Dursley's asked.

"Wizard shopping centre." Harry explained as best he could to Muggles.

"_Floo powder, powder, floo powder, powder, floo powder, powder, floo powder, powder, floo, powder, powder!"_ 'Harry' and 'Ron' chanted going in a circle.

"What's Floo Powder?" Dudley asked confused why everyone was laughing.

"Wizard way of transport." Hermione told him.

"I have to remember that one!" Ginny said laughing.

"_This year we'll take everybody by storm, stay up all night, sneak out of class."_ 'Harry' and 'Ron' put there arms around eachother.

"You better do go to class!" Molly said motherly.

Ron and Harry nodded. "We do, Mum." he told his mother.

"_As long as were together – Gonna kick some ass! And it's gonna be totally awesome!"_

Hermione's mouth opened in shock has her character walked out on stage and everyone burst out laughing.

"THAT IS NOT ME!" She screeched.

"_But let's not forget that we need to perform well in class, if we want to pass our OWLS!"_ Hermione screeched and covered her ears. NO WAY did that sound like her.

"What's OWLS?" Dudley asked and they watched as other characters in the background emerge.

"Wizard form of GCSE/A Levels." Harry explained laughing.

"_WOAH!"_ 'Harry' and 'Ron' said together.

"_God Hermione, Why do you have to be such a buzz kill?"_ 'Ron' asked and Hermione glared at the real Ron.

"It's not me!" he told her.

"_Geez." _

"_I may be frumpy, but I'm super smart, check out my grades, they're "A'S" for a start. What I lack in looks well I made up in a heart, and well guys, Yeah that's totally awesome."_

"_This year I plan to study a lot"_

"Really?" Ron said sarcastically and Hermione hit him.

"_That would be cool if you were actually hot."_ Hermione hit Ron.

"Ow!" He said rubbing his arm.

"_Hey, Ron, C'mon we're the only friend that she's got!" _Hermione hit Harry.

"Ow!" he said repeating Ron's actions.

"_And that's cool.."_

"Let me think, That's totally awesome." Hermione said.

"_And that's totally awesome!" _Everyone laughed.

"_Yeah it's so cool and it's totally awesome!"_

"_We're sick of summer and this waiting around, It's like we're sitting in the lost and found. Don't take no sorcery for anyone to see how.." _

"_We gotta get back to Hogwarts!"_

"Such losers." Vernon muttered.

"_We gotta get back to school! We gotta get back to Hogwarts, where everything is magic-cool!"_

"And you couldn't think of anything else that rhymed with school?" came from Draco who was grinning.

"It's not us!" the golden trio said in unison.

"_Back to wizards and witches and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts, It's all that I love and it's all that I need at HOGWARTS! HOGWARTS! _

"_I think we're going back!"_

Everyone laughed at the end of the clip.

"Next clip! Next clip!" Ron chanted like a five year old waiting to go to Disney world.

"I'm hungry." Fred and George said in unison.

"Well why don't you get some food?" Molly suggested. Dudley blinked when George clicked his fingers, and a plate of food popped out of fin air and he tucked into the food that was on the plate.

"Next clip, please!" Ron said eating a chicken leg.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry Potter and the Very Potter Musical.

Chapter three.

Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! I really appreciate them. Please enjoy Chapter three, If I don't have chapter four up before Christmas then Happy Christmas, If I do.. well... enjoy this chapter!

"Gosh Hermione! Hurry up." Hermione smacked Ron.

"It needs to load. See it's loaded now." Hermione said and pressed play.

"_Ron! You were supposed to take me to Madame Malkins and use those sickles mum gave you for my robe fitting!"_

Ginny's mouth opened. "Is that..is that me?" she squeaked and everyone laughed harder.

"Dear, you look nothing like that." Molly told her daughter.

"_Uh, who's this?_" 'Harry' asked 'Ron'

"_Oh. This is my stupid dumb little sister, Ginny. She's a freshman, Ginny this is Harry, Harry Potter, this is Harry Potter." _

Ginny slapped Ron on the arm.

"Ginny! Behave!" Molly Weasley told her.

"Sorry mum." Ginny said glaring at Ronald who looked innocent.

"_Oh, you're Harry Potter! Your the boy who lived!"_

Ginny mutted some rude curses under her breath about how that was not her. Luckily Molly or Arthur didn't here her.

"_Yeah. Your Ginny." _Everyone snickered.

"_It's Ginevra."_ Everyone laughed as Ginny held her hand out for Harry to shake it but he didn't.

"That never happened!" Ginny snapped angrily to them.

"_Cool. Ginny's fine." _

"_Stupid sister!_" Ron sank back in his seat as Molly and Ginny glare at him as his character clapped his hands loudly over her head.

"_Don't crowd the famous friend!"_Harry and Ron laughed as 'Ron' put his arm around 'Harry'

"_Do you guys hear music or something?" _'Hermione' asked as music was playing.

"_Music? What are you talking about?"_ 'Harry' asked looking around.

"_Yeah someone's coming."_ 'Ron' said and 'Harry' _Someone's coming?'_ asked.

"Wow, 10 points to Gyrffindor." Ginny said sarcastically.

Everyone burst out laughing as Cho Chang walked onto the stage.

"_Cho chang, Domo Arigato, Cho Chang, Gung hey Cho Chang, Happy new year, Cho Chang!"_

"Is that... Is that Cho Chang?" Harry asked laughing at the characters on stage.

"_Oh! Who's that?"_ 'Ginny' asked.

"_That's Cho Chang, the girl Harry's totally been in love with since freshman year'_

Everyone turned to Harry and burst out laughing at his read face.

"NOT true!" Harry said embarrassed which made everyone laugh more.

"Okay, I may have had a little crush on her in forth year, but NOT TRUE." He said shouting the last bit

"_Yeah but he'll never say anything to her."_

"_Yeah. Well you never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot._"

"That did happen." Ron said and Harry glared at him

"What?" Molly asked.

"Nothing." said Harry quickly and they watched 'Ginny' walk up to 'Cho Chang.'

"_Konichiwa Cho Chang, It is good to meet you, My name is Ginny Weasley."_

Ginny buried her head into her hands. "Oh god." she mumbled.

"_Bitch, I ain't Cho Chang!"_

Everyone burst out laughing. "Then..then who is?" Ron gasped out as 'Cho Chang' walked towards 'Ginny'

"_Hey! It's alight, I'm Cho Chang y'all." _'Cho Chang' said in a country girly accent making everyone laugh harder.

"Ohgod! If only Cho was here." Hermione said laughing.

"_She is totally perfect._" 'Harry' said embarrassing the real Harry.

"_Too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory though, huh?" _Ron's character said.

"_What? Who the hell is Cedric Diggory? Who is that guy? What is he, who is he?"_ Everyone laughed at 'Harry' and when 'Cedric pushed 'Harry' and 'Ron' away.

"_Cho chang!"_ 'Cedric' sang _"I am so in love with Cho Chang! From Bang-Cock to Ding Dang! I sing my love aloud for Cho Chang!"_ Everyone laughed harder as 'Cedric' ran after 'Cho Chang'.

"Douche, much." came from Dudley. Everyone glared at him.

"Right. Sorry." he said awkwardly and went back to watching the musical.

"_I hate that guy! I hate him." _

"_So are we going to get these robes or not?" _'Ron' asked.

"_Okay! Al right let's go!" _'Ginny' said.

"_GOD sister."_ Ginny glared at Ron.

"It's not me." he said innocently and watch them exit.

"_Present your arm!"_ 'Goyle' said to 'Neville'

"Is tha... is that Goyle?" asked Draco laughing.

"Ohmygod! Is that Neville?" Hermione asked.

He pointed his wand to 'Neville's' arm. _"Indian-Burn Hex!_" said Goyle and 'Neville' got fell onto his knees as the Golden Trio and Ginny walked in.

"_Oh, Crabbe and Goyle."_

"No, really?" Draco asked sarcastically earning a few smirks and glares.

"_Oh! Are you okay?" _'Hermione' asked 'Neville'

"_Hey! Why don't you leave Neville Longbottom alone?"_ 'Harry' asked Crabbe and Goyle.

"_Well if it isn't Harry Potter. You think all because your famous, you can boss everyone around."_

"Harry's not famous." said Vernon

"He's the boy who lived." Ron said to him grinning.

"_No, I just don't think it's cool for guys like you picking on guys like Neville, I mean C'Mon."_

"_Well, you know what I think? I think glasses are for nerds!"_ 'Goyle'' took 'Harry's' glasses. "_We hate nerds!_" he said then broke them and Crabbe said "_And girls!"_

"I hate those two." Harry said. The Golden Trio, Fred, George and Ginny nodded in agreement.

"_Oh! You don't mess with Harry Potter, he defeated the Dark Lord when he was just a baby!"_ 'Ron' told them.

"The Dark Lord?" Dudley asked and everyone shh'd him.

"Shh! No one mentions him." Arthur told him.

"Voldemort, Voldemort, Oh Voldy Voldy Voldemort." Harry said and everyone gasped.

"Harry!" Arthur and Molly gasped hitting him on each arm.

"OW! Sorry." he said rubbing his arm and Dudley and Dumbledore looked amused.

"_Alright everyone, Just calm down! Occulus Reparo!"_ 'Hermione' fixed 'Harry's' glasses and they flew back on his face.

"I still need to remember that spell." he said as his character went "_Whoa! Cool!"_

"_Now let's leave these big baby childish jerks alone!"_

"Very creative insult." Harry said sarcastically to Hermione.

"It's not me." said Hermione.

"Oh-

"My-

"God!"

Everyone said together when 'Draco' came on who was acted by a girl in a blonde wig.

"_Did someone say Draco Malfoy?_" The real Draco screamed and yelled about hex's and everyone laughed as hard like they haven't laughed in ages.

"_What do you want Draco?"_ asked 'Harry'

"_Crabbe, Goyle, be a dove and go pay for my robes will you." _'Draco' handed 'Crabbe and 'Goyle ' some money. _"So Potter, back for another year at Hogwarts are you?"_ he said walking around the Golden Trio

"_Maybe this year you'll rise up and hang out with a higher caliber Wizard."_ Everyone laughed as

'Draco' did a pose. The real Draco burried his head into his hands embarrassed.

"_Hey listen Malfoy, Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole wide world and I wouldn't trade them for anything."_ The Golden Trio aww'd as his character hugged them and everyone except Ginny and Molly laughed when 'Ron' pushed 'Ginny' out of the way.

"Wasn't me." Ron squeaked to them.

"_Have it your way. Wait! Don't tell me- Hand-me-down clothes and a stupid complexion. You must be a Weasley!"_ The Weasley's, Harry and Hermione glared at Draco who gulped.

"Wasn't me!" he managed to squeak out.

"You did say something like that in second year." Ron said glaring more.

"Hehe... Well.. that was second year." Draco said slightly frightened of the Weasley's.

"Now now, be nice." Dumbledore told them and they turned back to the screen.

"_Oh my god! Lay off Malfoy! She may be a pain in the ass, but she's my pain in the ass!"_

"Aww!" Ginny said and Ron rolled his eyes.

"_Well isn't this cute! It's like a little loser family!"_ The Weasley's glared at Draco, who hid behind Snape.

Snape pushed Malfoy in front of him.

"Grow up!" he snapped and the went back to watching the musicalwhere the Golden Trio and Ginny left the stage nad Crabbe and Goyle entered.

"_Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs. Luckily next year I'll be transferring to Pigfarts!"_

Everyone burst out laughing and Draco looked shocked.

"I've never heard of Pigfarts!" Hermione said laughing.

"That's because it isn't real!" Dumbledore told her amused.

"_This year you'll bet, I'm gonna get out of here! The reign of Malfoy is drawing near. I'll have the greatest wizard career and it's gonna be totally awesome!"_

Everyone groaned muttering "Not again" Fred and George laughed.

"Oh no! I do not sing!" Draco said horrified.

"_Look out world for the dawn of the day, where everyone will do whatever I say! And Potter wont be in my way, and then I'll be the one who is totally awesome!"_

"Keep on dreaming, Malfoy." Harry said laughing.

"_Yeah you'll be the one who is totally awesome!" _ Everyone burst out laughing and a 'CHOO CHOO' noise of a train was heard.

"_Guy's c'mon! Were gonna miss the train!"_ 'Hermione' said and the rest of the cast went on stage singing.

"_Who knows how fast this years gonna go? Hand me a glass and let the butterbeer flow!"_

The Dudley's made weird faces.

"What's butterbeer?" Vernon asked.

"Wizard drink." said Harry.

"_Maybe at last, I'll talk to Cho!"_ Everyone laughed at Harry was embarrassed.

"_We've come to learn everything we can, it's great to come back where we began. And here were, in ALAKAZAM! Here we go, this is totally awesome!"_

"Will they ever stop saying 'Totally awesome'?" asked Ron

"_I think we're ready for Albus Dumbledore!"_ 'Neville' said.

"_Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh!" _They sang as 'Dumbledore' arrived.

Everyone burst out laughing again.

"Ohmygod! Dumbledore, you look awesome." Ron said.

"Totally awesome!" Fred and George said in unison making people laugh harder.

"_Welcome!_" They all laughed when he handed out sweets.

"Please don't do another speech." Dumbledore looked at Ron.

"What's wrong with my speeches?" he asked.

"Nothing! They you just need to make them more interesting."

"_All of you to Hogwarts! I welcome all of you to school. Did you know that here at Hogwarts, we've got a hidden swimming pool?"_

"Really?" Draco and Ron asked with there eyes lighting up.

"No" Fred and George said in unison.

"How do you know?" Dumbledore asked them

"Eh.. well.. we had Harry's marauder's map before he did."

"They stole it of Filch." Harry said and the twins glared at him.

"Marauders map?" Draco and the Dursleys asked.

"Map of the school. It shows us where everything and everyone is." Harry explained.

"Oh! So that's how you went sneaking off without getting into trouble." said Draco.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four.

"_Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts. Welcome hotties, nerds, and tools. Now that I've you here at Hogwarts.." '_Dumbledore' starts to speak "_I'd like to go over a couple of rules. My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am the headmaster of Hogwarts. You can call me Dumbledore, Well I suppose you can call me Albus if you want detention, nah! I'm just kidding. I'll expel you if you call me Albus!"_ They all paled.

"Really?" Ron squeaked.

Dumbledore chuckled. "Depends on how I feel."

Everyone started singing again "_Back to witch's and wizards and magical beasts, to goblin and ghosts and some magical feasts, it's all I love and it's all I need at Hogwarts! Hogwarts! Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends to-_

_GRYFFINDORS: Gryffindor!_

_HUFFLEPUFFS: Hufflepuff!_

_RACENCLAWS: Ravenclaw!_

_SLYTHERINS: Slytherin!_

Everyone cheered when they're house was called.

"_Back to the place where our story begins, at Hogwarts! Hogwarts!"_

"_I'm sorry, what's its name?" _'Dumbledore' asked.

"_Hogwarts, Hogwarts!_" The AVPM cast yelled as well as the Hogwarts students watching which made everyone laugh happily.

"_I didn't hear you kids!"_

"_Hogwarts! Hogwarts!"_ The AVPM yelled as well as everyone watching it except from The Dursley's.

"_Man! I'm glad I'm back!"_ Everyone giggled and cheered as the cast stood together with wands in the air.

"How many bloody clips are left?" Petunia asked.

"A lot. And a sequal" Hermoine told her and Petunia groaned.

"This is ridiculous." Vernon said and the witch's and wizards snickered.

"What?" he asked glaring at them.

"Ridiculous is a spell." Dumbledore told Vernon with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Such a ridiculous spell." said Vernon.

"Hey Dumbledore." Fred said.

"Yes?" Dumbledore answered back.

"Can you do that at your normal beginning of year speeches?" Fred asked and everyone giggled.

"Well. I may have to steal a few lines." Dumbledore replied and they cheered.

"Can we sing to?" asked George

"No!" Dumbledore and Snape said together.

"Only asking!" The twins said in unison making everyone, Minus the Dursley's chuckle.

"Next clip, Hermione!" came from Harry, and she clicked on 'ACT 1 PART 3"

"Wait!" said Ron.

"What?" Hermione asked pausing the video.

"I'm hungry." Ron said innocently shrugging.

"I want pizza." said Dudley sighing.

"Pizza?" Ron asked.

"Muggle food." Harry and Ron said in unison.

"It's delicious." Hermione said dreamingly.

"I'll order some." she said.

"Why can't you magic some up." Ron said annoyed.

"Because it wont taste the same. Besides I want Domino's pizza."

"Oooh, Domino's." Dudley said smiling.

Half an hour the pizza arrived and they were tucking in.

"Man, this stuff is delicious." Ron said eating a mouthful of food.

Draco nodded. "I never thought I'd say this, but Muggle food is good." he took a bite of his pepporoni pizza sighing.

"You never had pizza before?" Dudley aksed shocked. _How can you live without pizza?_ He thought as he took another bite.

Draco shook his head. "I'm a pureblood Wizard. I live of Wizard food. And dispise everything to do with Muggles. But this is good." he took another bite of his pizza, ignoring the shocked looks of the Dursley's.

"Can you press play?" asked Harry. Once Hermione finished a slice of her delicious pizza she pressed play.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry Potter and the Very Potter musical.

Chapter Five.

Sorry. I feel as if last chapter was way to short for my liking. I hope this one will be longer. Also! Thank you to _HarryPotterNut94 _who informed me that Conjuring food out of thin air is impossible, so thanks for the useful information! :)) I hope you guys enjoy chapter four.

Oh! and I HAVE edited the past few chapters because I spotted some mistakes...but Fanfiction is being slow and they haven't updated. Damn you FF. :/

"_Yes! Yes! Yes! Welcome to another magical year at Hogwarts."_ 'Dumbledore' welcomed the students as they sat down on the benches.

"_And a very special welcome to my favourite student: Mr Harry Potter!"_

Everyone glared at Dumbledore.

"I knew he was your favourite." grumbled Draco as the Gryffindor students in AVPM cheered.

"_He defeated Voldemort when he was just a baby! And he's even got the lightening scar on his forehead to prove it." _ Everyone turned to look at Harry who covered his scar up with his hair.

"_And also another special welcome to to the newest addition, Mr. Ginny- Excuse me, Miss Ginny"_

Ginny glared at Dumbledore. "Oi!" she said.

"It's not me! It's him!" he said and everyone laughed.

'Ginny' stood up. "_Yeah, I'm a girl. Aren't we supposed to be sorted by the..uh, sorting hat?"_ she asked.

"_Yes well, a funny thing happened to the sorting hat. He actually got hitched with another piece of magical enchanted clothing. So he and the scarf of sexual preference-"_

"Wicked." Fred and George said in unison.

"We have to get one in our future joke shop" George said grinning.

"_Basically I've been putting anybody who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor, anybody that looks like a bad guy into Slytherin and... the other two can go wherever the hell they want, I don't really care." _Everyone laughed because it was such an un-dumbledoreish thing to say.

"PLEASE say that in a sorting!" pleaded Ron.

Dumbledore snorted. "I'll probably get fired."

"They can't fire you, your the headmaster." Harry said and Dumbledore shrugged.

'Cedric' stood up. "_Hufflepuff's are particularly good finders."_ he said.

"_What the HELL is a Hufflepuff?"_ 'Dumbledore' asked and everyone, including Dumbledore burst out laughing.

"What IS a Hufflepuff?" asked Dudley intrigued.

"A Hufflepuff is a house for someone who values hard work, tolerance, loyalty, and fair play." Dumbledore described a 'Hufflepuff' to him and Draco snorted.

"_Anyway! It is now time for me to introduce to you a my very good friend and our very own potions professor, Mr. Severus Snape."_

"_Aw! Man! I hope they fire that guy!"_ Snape glared at Ron who gulped.

"10 points from Gryffindor." he sneered out.

"Severus, you can't take points away, it's Christmas break." Dumbledore told him grinning.

"_Why? What's wrong with Professor Snape?" _

"_Uh, nothing. He's just... uh... Evil!"_ 'Ron' said to 'Ginny.'

"I AM NOT EVIL." "He is not evil." Dumbledore and Snape said in unison.

Everyone burst out laughing as Snape came onto screen. Severus paled.

"Oh my gosh! The actor is perfect!" Ron said forgetting Snape was in the room.

Severus picked up the nearest book and whacked Ron on the head.

"OW!" He yelped covering his head in pain like 'Ginny' did in AVPM.

"Sorry." Ron squeaked out and Snape smirked.

"_Oh C'mon Ron! He really isn't that bad."_ 'Harry' said.

"Thank you, Potter." said Snape and Ron glared at Harry who shrugged.

"_Harrry Potterr!"_ 'Snape' said drawing out his name which made everyone except Snape giggle.

"_Detention!"_

"What?" Harry asked.

"_What?"_ 'Harry' on screen stood up and asked and the real Harry blinked.

"_For talking out of turn!"_ 'Harry' sat back down.

"That was mean." Harry said pouting.

"_Now before we begin, I'm going to give you your very very first Pop quiz."_

"Oh! Yay! A Pop quiz!" Hermione cheered as the characters in AVPM groaned.

"_Can anybody tell me what a Portkey is?"_

"That's easy." Hermione said watching her characters hand went up in the air.

"_Oh yes Miss Granger?"_

"Of course it would be Hermione." Ron said. Hermione chose to ignore him.

"_A Portkey is a magically enchanted object that when touched will transport the one or ones that touch it to anywhere in the globe decided upon the enchanter." _

"So like flying?" Dudley asked understanding 'Hermione's fast talking and Harry nodded.

"But quicker than flying." he said.

"_Oh very good." _Everybody laughed as 'Snape' drawled out the words and did weird hand jesters.

"_Now can anybody tell me what foreshadowing is?"_

"Let me think. Hermoine." said Ron and Hermione glared at him.

"_Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned early in the story to return later in a more significant way."_ The Dursley's and Ron looked confused.

"_Perfect."_

"Wait, what is a Portkey?" Ron asked and everyone groaned.

"_What was a portkey again? I missed that one." _'Ron' asked in the middle of eating and everyone laughed.

"_Oh! A Portkey is-"_

"_Not you! Ohmygod."_

"-_an enchanted object that when touched will transport you anywhere in the globe_"

Everyone laughed at 'Hermione's fast talking.

"I really don't talk that fast." said Hermione.

"_And remember, A Portkey can be any harmless object. Like a football. Or a Dolphin." _

"_Professor? Can like, a person be a Portkey?" _

"Don't be absurd!" Snape said.

"_No that's absurd! Because if a person where to touch themselves."_ 'Snape' looked at Ron and they all laughed. "_They would constantly be transported into different places. A person can however be a Horcrux."_

"What's a Horcrux? The Golden Trio asked. Snape and Dumbledore shared a look.

"_I'm not even going to tell you Harry, you'll find out soon enough."_ Snape and Dumbledore chuckled.

"Do you know what a Horcux is?" Harry asked Dumbledore.

"You'll find out." said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eyes.

"_Professor. What is the point of this quiz?"_ 'Hermione' asked.

"I was thinking the same thing." said Ron.

"_Oh no, no, no point in particular. Just important information that everyone should know! Especially you! Now, moving right along, there are four houses"_

"_Gryffindor!" _'Snape' said_ (Wooh!)" _The Gryffindor's cheered including the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione.

"_Ravenclaw! (Ow!)"_

"_Hufflepuff! (Find!) - What?"_ Everyone laughed. The dursley's looked amused.

"_and Slytherin! (yess!)_ Draco said in the same time and the witch's and wizards looked at him.

Draco shrugged. "What? I'm allowed to support my own house."

"_Now traditionally, traditionally points are given for good behaviour and deducted for rule breaking. For example; ten points for Gryffindor!"_

"What?" Hermione said shocked as the Gryffindor's said it on screen.

"_For miss Grangers excessive baby fat."_ Draco laughed and Hermione glared at him and Snape.

"Thanks Hermione." The real Harry and Ron said in unison of 'Harry' and 'Ron on screen. Hermione glared at them.

"_..Traditionally the house with the most points at the end of the year would win the house cup. However, this year we're doing things a bit differently. Here to introduce it, is our new professor of the dark arts, Professor Quirrell"_

Everyone paid more attention at the name of Professor Quirrell.

"_Ow! Ow!"_ Everyone laughed at Harry as he touched his scar.

"Over dramatic, Potter." said Draco.

"Oh my!" said Hermione and laughed at Quirrell.

"_What's wrong?"_ asked 'Hermione' and 'Harry'

"_T-The h-house c-up. A -a time honoured t-tradition. For centuries-"_

'Draco' interupted. "_GO HOME TERRORIST!_" He shouted making everyone, even Draco laugh.

"I have to remember that one." he said in between fits of giggles.

"_For Centuries, the f-four houses of Hogwarts have competed for the honour and glory of holding the title of house champion. But where does this competition come from? And hat are the roots of the t-tradition?"_ Quirrell stuttered. Dudley looked confused.

"Whats with the stuttering?" he asked.

"It's just an act." Harry said quickly.

"_The house cup tournament began with the first generation of Hogwarts students,"_

"Of course you would know." said Ron to Hermione as everyone laughed.

"_That was a rhetorical question."_ Everyone laughed at 'Hermione' who flushed.

"I love this Quirrell." Ron said.

"_Granger, quit interrupting! 20 points from Gryffindor!"_ Hermione glared at Dumbledore.

"_Thanks Hermione!"_ She glared at Ron.

"_As I was s-saying, When the tournament first originated, it was one of a completely different sort. One champion from each of the four houses would complete a series of dangerous tasks." _Quirrell stuttered.

"_Kind of like a house cup, Uh-no, like a tri-wizard tournament."_ 'Hermione' said.

"_Yes, sort of like the tri-wizard tournament, except..No. Not like that at all." _Dumbledore chuckled.

".. _there are four houses, How can it be a tri-wizard tournament with four teams?"_ asked 'Quirrell.

"_Well, uh; Professor, If I remember correctly the house cup tournament was disbanded after one semester, where one of it's students was killed during the first task." _

"_Yes, It is very dangerous but the rewards far out-weigh the risks." _

"So he says." Harry muttered darkly.

"_I-I don't think you heard me! I just said somebody died!"_ 'Hermione' said.

"_Hermione Granger! Shut your upgoldy lopsided mouth and quit interrupting! 20 points from Gryffindor!"_ Draco laughed and Hermione glared at Dumbledore who held his hands up in defence.

"It's not me! I would never say that!" Dumbledore said through Hermione's glare. Slowly, she stopped her glare and turned back to the projector.

"_Thanks Hermione!"_ said 'Ron' and 'Harry'.

"_God! For the cleverest witch of your age, you can really be a dumb-ass sometimes."_ Molly stared at Dumbledore In shock as everyone burst out laughing. Even Hermione chuckled.

"I have to remember that one as well!" said Draco laughing.

"Say that and you get another punch." said Hermione glaring and Draco shut up straight away making Ron and Harry snicker.

"_Oooh! 10 points to Dumbledore!_" That set everyone of again. Snape's lips curved up into a smile, Fred and George were leaning against each other laughing, and The Dursley's looked very amused. Dudley tried his hardest not to laugh because his parents wouldn't approve.

"_Yes, yes, well it will be very dangerous, but the winner will be remembered as a hero for ages to come. And the professor of the Defence Against The Dark Arts, I believe that this practical application is exactly what the curriculum needs too- _

"_ACHOO"_ Harry burst out laughing as the turban sneezed, knowing it was Voldemort.

"_Did your turban just sneezed?"_ 'Dumbledore' asked as the real Dumbledore chuckled.

"_W-What? No." _said 'Quirrell'

"_I could have sworn I heard a sneeze coming from your direction, but your mouth wasn't moving." _

"_O-Oh, that was simply a fart, excuse me."_ Everyone, Even Dudley laughed.

"_ACOO!"_ The 'Turban' sneezed making Fred and George laugh harder.

"_Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh jeez, OW!" _Everyone laughed at Harry who looked flushed. Surly he wasn't that bad...? he thought.

"_I must be going."_

"_Ow.."_ 'Harry' said.

"_ACHOO!"_ The 'Turban' sneezed again.

"_I simply farted once more."_ Draco was the first to laugh making everyone, Minus the Dursley's join in.

"_With the newly resurrected house cup, a champion from each house will be selected to compete. So, Snape, would you do the honours please?"_

"_Yes headmaster. First from the Ravenclaw house... Miss Cho Chang." _Harry's eyebrows raised. That didn't happen in his tournament.

"_Oh my gawd! I won! Can you believe that, y'all?" _said 'Cho' as a country girly girl.

"_Next from Hufflepuff, a Mister Cedric Diggory." _

Oh.. Was that how he died...? thought Dudley.

"_Well I didn't FIND that surprising at all!" _Everyone chuckled.

"When are they going to stop the 'Find' jokes?" George asked.

"Yeah, I don't FIND them funny at all." said Fred grinning making everyone laugh.

"_I FIND it perfect! Now I can spend more time with my beloved boyfriend!"_

Not for long... Draco thought silently.

"_I'm glad as well, my darling." _

"_And next, from the Slytherin house.. A Draco Malfoy!"_ The real Draco cheered loudly making Petunia and Vernon Dursley wince.

"_WOOH! Oh! I finally beat you, Didn't I Potter? What do you think of that, Huh? I'M the champion this time!" _They all burst out laughing as 'Draco' started rolling around 'Harry'

Harry and Draco looked grossed out wishing it would end

"_Draco! Would you sit down you little shit! Champion is just a title!" _Draco glared at Dumbledore who chuckled.

Fred and George snickered. "You tell him, Dumbledore!" they said in unison.

"_And finally, from the Gryffindor House.. Oh my! Well isn't that curious! The one person in all of Hogwarts whom I have a well known grudge is suddenly in a tournament in which he very well may loose his life." _The Dursley's looked at Harry.

"That happens all the time." said Harry as if it was nothing new to him.

"_If-If it's me, I apologize to my f-fello G-Gryffindors right now for loosing."_

"Oh Neville." Hermione said sighing.

"_Sit down you inarticulate bung wit!_" The Golden Trio glared at Snape who ignored them.

"_It's Harry Potter!"_

"_WOOOH! WOOH! WHOOOOH! WOOOO!"_ Everyone laughed at 'Rons' cheering.

"_Here they are folks. The four Hogwarts champions. I want all of you to start preparing immediately, because the first task is in two months and it could be anything... So lets get to it!" _'Dumbledore' said.

"_Cho Chang! Cho Chang!"_ Cho Chang's posse of friends cheered.

"_Malfoy! Malfoy! Malfoy! Hey!"_ 'Draco' cheered.

"Yeah! Go me!" Draco said happily making everyone giggle at him.


End file.
